It’s a new year. Everyone cheered and celebrated as the ball dropped, except me. I cried. And cried. And cried. I don't want 2017 to be over. Ziggaro was a part of 2017. I guess I’ve been holding on to that. Now it's 2018 and he won't be here for any of it. As I looked at the balloons & confetti, and the clock on tv showing 12:00 everything felt very final, like that chapter was really over. I guess it’s because that chapter really IS over, but it’s not just a chapter. It’s my favorite book in the world and there’s no more to read. For almost half of my life Ziggaro brought light that I would have otherwise never known. And while I am sure he would want me to step out of this darkness & back into that light, I just do not know how.