The Road Less Traveled

Well, it's been about 2 weeks since Zig quit eating consistently. He used to scarf up anything & everything we gave him and has been eating like a King all summer. Over the last week he hasn't eaten much at all, maybe a tablespoon of food each day and more often than not walks away from it completely.

He's also throwing up. It started at once a day'ish. Now it's a couple times, whether he's eaten or not.  And the diarrhea, oy (I'll spare the details and simply say: Mucho thanks to whomever invented wet wipes).

This crap (see what I did there, must laugh otherwise insanity looms), on top of the all out war he's waged on taking meds this week has really leveled us up. Strawberry jelly was amazing in its time, but all good things must come to an end. I thought since he took prednisone by oral syringe for so many years, that I could try turning the lasix powder to oral suspension. After spending an afternoon doing stupid math & teaching myself to compound (big shout out to creepy druggie forums for the instructionals btw), we were in business.

Andddddd, that was no go. A oh-hell-to-the-no-go kind of no go, where he writhed around & growled (and may or may not have attempted to bite me with the few teeth he still has). Okay. Back to jelly? No go. Back to peanut butter? No go. Cheese? No. Pill pockets? Nope. Wtf? Somehow he finally figured out that by keeping his mouth open and shaking his head he can expel pretty much whatever I attempt to force in there. 

“How awful” you might be thinking. Sure, the belly mess isn’t awesome in the moment. But then it’s over, and we resume quiet life. Realistically we’re talking a collective 10 minutes of 24 hours.

He's tired, there’s no denying that. BUT HE IS HAPPY. He plays and snuggles and loves just being. He is not miserable. And honestly, if a week of spray poop was the standard for being put down I would have been sent forth long, long ago (tmi? sorry not sorry, dairy doesn’t sit well with me but I lovvvvvvvvvve it).

And so with all this, last Thursday evening, the three of us sat together at the fork in the road. There was anger, tears, laughter, more tears, and ultimately a semblance of peace. Together we chose to continue on this road less traveled, to let his little living body keep doing just what it is inherently designed to do, on his own time. Because clearly, he is doing a beautiful job and who are we to intervene?

For the record: While I'm down to let him do his thing, I'm not down to let him suffer intensely & will force pain meds or otherwise if it comes to that. We've spent this weekend on the living room floor together, it’s been wonderful. While he slept, I watched Pippi, channeling her strength while remembering the million & one good times I've had with my best friend ever. And I feel okay. And so does he.

As long as he continues to be happy and isn't suffering we will keep on… Once again off we go, putting one foot & paw in front of the other, until we don't.

Jess P