Real life isn't always pretty and I'm not above posting the ugly. There are times that I smile when all I really want to do is cry. The reality that Ziggaro is in congestive heart failure is heart breaking and managing him can be exhausting. Some days I just can't shake the sadness. It creeps slowly out from the center of my soul & forms a heavy cloud that just hangs. It makes me want to melt into a puddle and do that ugly cry. The kind where you heave & snot everywhere and try to talk but the words that come out make no sense. You know what I mean, where the people around you really wish they were somewhere else because they have no idea what to do with you. So they just pet your head & try to convince both of you that tomorrow will be better. And you both know that's utter bullshit.

Most of the photos here I try to keep upbeat. But the reality is, in addition to being exhausted and feeling sad, sometimes I meltdown. I pick fights with Mike and we'll go head to head over something stupid. Our house becomes a battlefield and we rip each other apart. Heartbreak & tears ensue while Zig hides. Or we go somewhere (like to the beach) and inevitably talk about how awful it will be in the future without Ziggaro. And a happy time turns sad. We always regret it.

We really try to focus on the positive. Sometimes we fail. And it sucks. And that's life. So here's a quick glimpse into the non press release side of ours.